Hooves, How Even
by Mr.Dr.Dude
Summary: As Twilight Sparkly reads a rare Book, she makes many startling discoveries about the universe, as well as her friend Pinkie Pie, and even hooves. Can her mind withstand it?


_Just an attempt to get out of my rut with the Harry Potter stories I've been working on recently. It's not quite the goofy weirdness I've become known for, but it's still a tad silly. Hope you enjoy reading I, and please leave a review. All feedback is welcome, so tell me what you like, don't like, or just outright insult me with bizarre profanity. You know what, Just do that last one, that sounds great. Anyway, enjoy, and if you like it share it with your friends or check out my other work._

* * *

Late one crystal clear night, Twilight Sparkle poured over obscure texts she had order from the Canterlot Library. The candles flickered and cast strange shadows over her room in the Ponyville Library, causing the darkness to dance. The silence of her studies was challenged only by the soft snores of one very tired purple baby dragon and the occasional flipping of a page. Here current subject of study was a rare copy of a book on theoretical physics, dimensions, and non Euclidean geometry. What made this particular book so rare was the fact that soon after it was first published most of the copies were burned. There were rumors that it somehow drove the ponies who read it mad, but that was just and old mares tale. How could a book Drive somepony insane?

The book itself wasn't anything special as far as Twilight was concerned. It was a tad dry in some places and the information and theories provided, while modern and cutting edge when it first came out, was outdated and even proven wrong in some places. There were interesting parts, places where the author added their own personal theories and research. Twilight eagerly jotted down notes on these parts as holes in her knowledge were filled in. It all made so much sense! This book had managed to elaborate on theories that had only recently been discussed by the larger equestrian scientific community, and yet had somehow managed to be forgotten by everypony. It made no sense to Twilight, by all rights this book should have greatly advanced the progress of science ages ago, so how could this be new information to her?

Nearing the end of the volume, she was stopped in her tracks by the title of the last and final section in the book. The top of the page read simply: Hooves, How even. _What an odd title,_ mused miss Sparkle to herself. Regardless of the peculiarity of the section's name, she read on with a burning curiosity. Soon that curiosity was replaced with confusion, which morphed into horrified understanding. Her gaze travelled from the page to her hooves.

She had hooves, no surprise there, but the there was one question she had never bothered to ask herself. How did she pick anything up with here hooves? With dragons like Spike, and the other creatures that could be found across Equestria, they had fingers that could wrap around various objects to manipulate them, but not ponies. Ponies didn't have fingers or hands, so how could they pick things up with the flat hard surface of a single hoof? It shouldn't be possible. Twilight reached out to pick up a nearby piece of paper. The paper remained in place. A gast she tried again, but with no more luck than before. She tried again; all she could manage was to push the paper in a way that was logical, not her typical method of using her hooves.

She tried again and again, only to be met with repeated failure. Something in her mind was changing. She began to grasp the subtle clues from earlier in the book, the theories that vaguely hinted at more profound and mind boggling truths. The corners of the room weren't just three planes intersecting at a point, but more planes coming from directions she could not previously grasp, ninety degrees from each other. She finally grasped how the fourth dimension moved, not in terms of length, width, and depth, but in a way most ponies could never dream of. It wasn't only fourth dimensional movement though, there were even more dimensions than that. Twilight moved herself in a new way and was across the room instantly. This wasn't like her teleportation, that used magic. This was simply moving yourself, anypony could do it if they understood it. Anypony could do it...

Another shocking revelation jolted through here. Pinkie Pie! She had been moving like this since Twilight had met her! How had she or anypony not noticed before? Or rather, they had all noticed, but why had they never questioned it before? It all seemed so obvious now that she could see and understand, but what about before? Never once had it seem strange she appear behind some pony she was chasing not even out of breath, even if it was Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier around. Even her Pinkie Sense should have been a tip off, after all, time can be witnessed easily in this state. Pinkie was more than eccentric, she was enlightened to the secrets of the universe that Twilight was just now discovering herself.

There was one thing that didn't make sense to the purple pony; if Pinkie saw things like this all the time, then how did she pick things up with her hooves? Twilight could now move in at least five dimensions, possibly more if she practiced, but as she attempted it, she failed to pick up the sheet of paper. _Maybe it's a special technique?_ She thought. She contemplated on the quantum nature of the paper and the universe, and with that, the paper was in her hoof without her even moving only for it to fall to the ground. It wasn't that the paper teleported, it was more that the paper moved to a place where it already was or could be. Still it didn't work.

 _Why had it worked before?_ Twilight pondered. She had picked things up like all the other ponies, just by simply reaching out with her hoof. Now she couldn't, but why? What had changed to make this previously simple task impossible? The answer became quite obvious. Before it had worked despite it being impossible, but she had not known that it was impossible. Now she did and despite trying, she knew that she shouldn't be able to no matter what. The only thing that had changed was her awareness. It had worked in the past simply because she believed that is should work. Reality was all about perception, and until that point she had perceived that she should be able to do it. Reality was shifting and could be manipulated. It wasn't that reality limited your perceptions, it was that your perceptions limited reality. It was all nearly too much for poor Twilight. With her sanity handing by a frayed thread, she reached down with her hoof and placed the paper back on the desk.


End file.
